The Princesses and the Dragon

Once upon a time there were two beautiful, clever princesses. Their names were Calixa and Leela. One day they were finishing their royal breakfast when a voice sounded out of nowhere.

“It’s a beautiful sunny day,” the voice commanded. “You need to get out for some fresh air.”

Princess Calixa started to whine, it was her duty as a princess in her third year of training to whine as much as she could.

“I don’t want to go outside. I want just play with Farley!”

“Oh alright,” the voice conceded.”I grant you permission to bring your noble steed. Now please get your winter clothes on and make haste…that means ‘hurry up'”. The voice was usually impatient.

When the two lovely girls were bundled as warm as princesses should be and their beautiful magic blanket was stowed away safely, they gingerly stepped out of the castle.

“I want to lie down in the sled.” princess Calixa began again in her princess-in-her-third-year-of-training voice.

“For the last time, NO!” boomed the voice, irritated and wondering whether fresh air was really worth it.

Then while princess Leela sat strapped in the royal sled looking on in amusement at the royal steed pushing her muzzle through the fresh snow, princess Calixa and the voice debated which option the princess would exercise for travel, walking or sitting in the royal sled. Finally the voice convinced the eldest princess to walk and the two sweet girls were on their way.

Suddenly a fire-breathing dragon, with wings as thick as a winter parka and breath soured by coffee soared overhead. It screeched and bellowed, unleashing a torrent of fire just overhead. The two princesses were scared but also very brave. The voice had ordered them to get some fresh air and so they would, fire-breathing dragon or no.

Their noble steed led the way behind the royal castle and down the royal alley. Then the two fearless princesses began the treacherous hike through the empty field to the path back beyond. The dragon reappeared, circling high overhead, as they crossed a particularly rough patch of land. Princess Calixa  stumbled and fell. Her blue blood seeped from the scratch on her knee and her wrath was terrible. For a time, her screams frightened the dragon away.

Eventually her screams lessened into slightly quieter wails and princess Calixa (still sobbing), princess Leela and their royal steed, Farley continued on their way. No one noticed the somehow the beautiful magic blanket that their special aunt had knit for them was missing. The path back beyond became the street adjacent and they began their journey back to the castle.

Just then the dragon re-appeared, terrible and angry. The princess’ unstoppable crying had unsettled the dragon and it was enraged and determined to eat the noisy girls. It set its sights on the vulnerable princesses and prepared to unleash it’s terrible fury on the two insatiable girls. Just then a lowly villager came out of her hut and innocently asked, “is everything OK?”

The dragon swooped down with wings wide and talons extended. A firestorm erupted from its great maw, singing the unlucky villager in an inferno that crashed through the air  and sounded like, “SHE’S THREE!!!!!” Then the dragon snatched up the charred victim and flew off to it’s cavernous lair to feast on singed flesh and burnt bones.

“Make haste, make haste” the voice urged the girls. “Inside quick before the dragon comes back!” And the girls and their steed entered into the safety of the castle as fast as their legs would carry them.

The voice let lose a huge sigh of relief for fresh air turned out to be more trouble that it was worth. The eldest princess went to spend time with her nanny, “miss television” and the youngest had her diaper changed. The voice sat down to a bowl of acorn squash, roasted garlic and quinoa that she knew neither children would eat and decided that owing to the threat of more dragons, they wouldn’t get any more fresh air that day.


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