Today is Valentines day. I remember when this day was such a big deal. I’d wake up with butterflies in my tummy, so sure that romance would find me. When I was single, I’d dream that on Valentines day prince charming would find me. Maybe he would materialize on the bus as I commuted to University. The scene would play out, tinged with rose, as I waited for the big lumbering bus to pull up to my stop. I’d drop my binder as the bus driver visiously took a corner at break-neck speed and *sigh, Mr. Perfect would pick it up and hand me it back to me while brushing the hair from my eyes and say something terribly romantic like, “You are the most beautiful woman in the world.” He would have an accent, of course.
Once I met my husband, Valentines day changed from the fluttery unknown (and consequent disappointment) to the anticipation of expected displays of love. And oh boy did he deliver…the first year. I came home early from work to find his car in the driveway. Suspicious and cautiously excited, I crept into the house and stole up the stairs. I slowly opened the door to my room and had to rub my eyes in disbelief. The most beautiful striped roses were arranged all over the room, enhanced in the waning light by a symphony of little candles. I understood then why so many men chose Valentine’s day as the day to propose because let me tell you, when I saw what Trevor had done for me that day he could have asked me to scrub his cousin’s-with-Crohn’s toilet for a year and with dreamy eyes I would have said, “yes!”
We’ve been married for a while now and while he still impresses me with flowers (I never get tired of that!) I’m pretty sure he’ll never top that first one. But that’s OK. Love changes when you’ve been together for a while. It’s not blissfully romantic but what it turns into is more solid than that. In my case, my partner has always been my anchor- my rock. And having someone to hold onto you is a lot more sustainable than floating around in the clouds. Yes, word like “sustainable” and “rock” are not very romantic but I’ll take them to the bank anyway because they mean forever.