Horny Pine Cones

Today we came across the cutest plant I’ve ever seen. I had to tell Cally three times not to eat it- it looks an awful lot like a strawberry. In actual fact, it is a pine cone, an unfertilized one. My allergies tell me that the warm May wind is saturated with pollen and these little ‘strawberries’ are like horny teenagers. Slathered in make-up, reeking of perfume and squeezed into the shortest mini skirt in existence, these saucy pine cones hang heavy off branches with their britches up and are on the look-out for sperm a.k.a. pollen. And it’s out there. On the wind, up my nose. Everywhere everywhere there is pollen. The dance of life is happening, invisible and magical. Age-old and necessary. Ensuring new trees will grow, squirrels will be born, ducklings will hatch, seeds will get formed (and probably a few teenagers will get knocked up too).They may look like strawberries but they smelled like fresh pine and inside these little pink pods eggs will be fertilized and the wonderful dance of life will continue its beautiful mystical waltz.

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